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Phoenix Rising Life Coaching
with A.J. Mahari
Ontario, Canada
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Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life A.J. Mahari March 2010

Change Your Life - Change Your Thoughts Ebook by A.J. Mahari

The Power of Gratitude - Healing - Recovery - Wellness and Getting Unstuck A.J. Mahari December 2010

The Power of Gratitude Ebook by A.J. Mahari

Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness - Ebook/Coaching Guide/Workbook and Audio A.J. Mahari January 2011

Quest For Self - Building Conscious Self Awareness Ebook and Audio by A.J. Mahari


Achieve Your Goals - Self-Coaching Program A.J. Mahari April 2010

Change Your Life - Achieve Your Goals - Self-Coaching Program Ebook, Audio, and Workbook by A.J. Mahari

The Law of Attraction - Thoughts Determine Destiny A.J. Mahari March 2010

Law of
Attraction - Thoughts and Destiny Ebook by A.J. Mahari

Verbal Abuse, Roots, Effects and The Danger A.J. Mahari 2007

Verbal Abuse, Roots,
Effect and The Danger Ebook by A.J. Mahari

LONELINESS - Its Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, and Meaning A.J. Mahari October 2006

LONELINESS - Its Challenges, Lessons, Purpose, and Meaning by A.J. Mahari

Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program A.J. Mahari 2009

Self Help for Change - Healing and Recovery Audio Program by A.J. Mahari



Who I Work With

People I work, clients that come to me for Coaching do span a wide spectrum of reasons, issues, challenges, walks of life. Among all of the various general reasons that many seek me out as a Life Coach, I have three niche area specialities that relate to Borderline Personality Disorder - personality disorders generally, those diagnosed with them and their loved ones. I also specialize in coaching people with mental illness in either coping more effectively and/or healing and recovery. Codependence and toxic relational dynamics are also a niche coaching speciality of mine because they are so often, if not pretty much "always" part of what relating to and or with people with personality disorders involves. People, themselves, with a personality disorder, or other mental illness, also experience a great deal of enmeshed, dependent/codependent and toxic rupturing relational dynamics. I also specialize in working with those with Narcissisitic Personality Disorder (NPD) - Narcissistic Traits - BPD and NPD - Loved ones of anyone with NPD, strong narcisssitic traits, or BPD/NPD.



Sessions With A.J.Mahari




People With BPD

I coach many who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Personality Disorder. This is a niche specialty within my over-all Life Coaching practice. I recovered from BPD 15 years ago. I know what recovery is - what it means - and how you can get there because I have taken this journey in my own life.

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BPD Loved Ones

Coaching people who are loved ones, partners, ex-partners, friends, co-workers, or family members of those who have Borderline Personality Disorder is another niche speciality area of my over-all Life Coaching. I have extensive first-hand life experience on the other side of BPD too.

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Coping With Mental Illness

The third niche area specialty within my over-all Life Coaching practice is that of coaching people who have been diagnosed with a mental illness or who are struggling with anxiety, depression, and need to find ways to cope more effectively while on the road to recovery.

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Self Improvement

I coach many who feel stuck or block in various areas of their lives or who want to address creating positive change in some area of life and work on their own self-improvement.

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Self-Awareness

I coach people who are looking to increase their own self-awareness generally or about something specific, for example, a pattern of toxic relationships, or low self-esteem, low self-worth, need for better boundaries and/or assertion skills and much more. of BPD too.

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General Life Coping

Another niche area of my Life Coaching Services is geared toward people who just need to talk about general life coping skills or learning more life coping tools. People who want to explore and identify new choices, new goals, and create and plan strategy as to how to accomplish those goals. This might mean learning tools and skills to enhance your socialization or to deal more effectively with performance or general anxiety, self-doubt, negative self-talk and issues of that nature.

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Codependency and Toxic Relationship Dynamics

I also work with people who are dealing with or just coming to realize the codependency and toxic relational dynamics that often unfold between those with Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder - other personality disorders - and the people - non personality-disordered - who try to relate to them.


Are you in a relationship with someone that you know or suspect has a personality disorder? Are you unhappy? Do you feel stressed out often? Are you losing sleep? Do you feel like you aren't sure who you are anymore? Are you baffled as to why you hang in there no matter what, hoping for the good times - the highs - even though the bad times and the lows far outweigh any good times or highs?


  • - Are you being abused either one way or all of the following: verbally, physically, emotionally, and/or financially?
  • - Are you walking on eggshells?
  • - Do you feel invisible?
  • - Do you feel that it isn't like you to stay involved in the situation that you may be involved in?
  • - Are you afraid of losing this person because you don't want to be alone?
  • - Are you more anxious more often? Are you stressed out?
  • - Do you feel invisible?
  • - Are you constantly put down one day only to be raised up and put on a pedestal another day?
  • - Does it seem like your loved one with a personality disorder has to be right - no matter what?
  • - Is the person you fell in love with missing in action in your relationship?
  • - Do you believe that you owe it to your loved one to help them?
  • - Do you stay because you believe your loved one can't survive without you?

These are a just a few of the questions that, if answered, yes, would mean that you have someone in your life with a personality disorder. This may well mean you are in a toxic, enmeshed, and codependent relationship. Such relationships are not healthy for anyone.

In my life coaching I help my clients to connect the dots, to discover, uncover, become more aware of what is keeping them stuck in this painful, frustrating, and often emotionally draining and chaotic relationship/situation. I help my clients understand what is going on. I also facilitate my clients understanding themselves better and finding out just what they will benefit from learning about themselves. True emotional freedom from codependent and/or toxic relational dynamics is won from within, from the inside out. Emotional freedom can not be found, achieved, or won, by trying to rescue someone else. What will you benefit from knowing more about yourself, in your own life?

If you have Borderline Personality Disorder, would you like to more about the following in your life?

  • - Fear of abandonment
  • - Lack of known stable self or sense of self
  • - Splitting and other defense mechanisms that set up your triggered abandonment repetition compulsion in here and now
  • - Learn how to relate in healthier ways
  • - Learn to regulate your emotions
  • - Gain more awareness of your triggers and how to cope more effectively with them
  • - How to stay in the here and now when triggered
  • - How to connect with your authentic self
  • - How to face and walk through your pain learning from it instead of protecting against it
  • - How to feel better
  • - What to do with rage or shutting down
  • - Gain insight into why you need to be right - need to be validated - why you punish yourself and others
  • - Stop self harming
  • - Find real hope
  • - How to get unstuck
  • - How to leave the victim mindset behind

There are many other aspects of Borderline Personality Disorder that I educate my clients about in ways that help them get unstuck and unblocked and create healthy positive change in their lives, relating, and relationships. When you are ready to do the work, follow the process, learn, open up, and when you are determined and committed to getting better I can and will help you find your way onto and down the road to recovery from BPD or in terms of being or having been a loved one of someone with BPD.

  • - The way people with BPD think and why
  • - Radical acceptance of what is
  • - Mindfulness Practice
  • - The Importance of Boundaries
  • - Narcissism In BPD
  • - Splitting and Projection
  • - Introjection
  • - Repetition Compulsions
  • and much more!

Sessions With A.J.Mahari


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - Narcissistic Traits & Loved Ones of NPD


Narcissism isn't just about or present only in Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is also part of Borderline Personality and other disorders. Narcissism also exists to varying degrees in some in the absence of personality disorders. We also live in a world and in culture steeped in proliferating narcissism. Narcissism of all types and degrees negatively impacts relating and relationships.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and the narcissistic traits found in Borderline Personality Disorder unfold within the reality that we do live in what many would largely define as a narcissistic culture.

While narcissism in all its forms and contexts and from its many contributing causes is being talked about much more widely, the question that remains and looms large is, is anything being done about what is producing the next generation of those who will be burdened by the pain of narcissistic traits or the types and degrees of narcissism seen in various personality disorders?

How are loved ones of those with narcissistic traits or a personality disorder and significant relational impacting narcissism coping? Or are they often not aware, not coping, and being hurt deeply as a result? Do you have a loved one with BPD, NPD or both BPD/NPD? Are you feeling like you are drowning in the invisibility that is experienced on the other side of self-absorption and narcissistic emotional unavailability? Is "it" always about your husband or your wife, your mother or your father or an important friend in your life? What do you need to do? What do you need to understand? How can you address and take care of your own

Do you have BPD, NPD, or both? Do you have strong narcissitic traits? Do you experience difficulty relating to others and and perhaps not understand why? Are you impatient? Do you harshly and quickly devalue and judge others when they aren't doing of saying what you want them to? Are you in pain? Do you feel lonely or alone? Do you feel disconnected? Do you wonder why things are as they are in your relational life? Do you feel like "it" is always about you?

Questions. There are so many questions about narcissism and its effects on relating and relationships. Questions in pursuit of trying to find some relief from incredible pain and suffering for those who are narcissistic and/or have a personality disorder and for those who love and/or care about them. So, what are the answers? How can you find the answers? I help people find the answers that they need to find for awareness, understanding, and empowerment to help with coping more effectively if you have NPD, or are a Loved one of someone with NPD and also help you to identify and achieve goals - to make the decisions that may well continue to go unmade in your life because you feel helpless, confused, unsure, and/or like things are hopeless.

Are you in a relationship with someone that you know or suspect has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Are you unhappy? Do you feel stressed out often? Are you losing sleep? Do you feel like you aren't sure who you are anymore? Are you baffled as to why you hang in there no matter what, hoping for the good times - the highs - even though the bad times and the lows far outweigh any good times or highs? Are you being abused? Do you feel invisible?


Coming soon - my Blog on the fact that NPD will not be included in the next DSM 5 and what that might mean for understanding Narcissism and for the fact that even if they do away with the former diagnositc criteria and definition it isn't going to mean that people with narcissism are going to stop existing or suddenly be well. What it might well mean is that they may well get harder to actually understand that that's who you are dealing with.

  • - Are you being abused either one way or all of the following: verbally, physically, emotionally, and/or financially?
  • - Do you always come second?
  • - Do you feel invisible?
  • - Do you feel that it isn't like you to stay involved in the situation that you may be involved in?
  • - Are you afraid of losing this person because you don't want to be alone?
  • - Are you more anxious more often? Are you stressed out?
  • - Does your loved one have needs that always must come first?
  • - Does your loved one seem demanding - expect a lot?
  • - Does it seem like your loved one with a personality disorder has to be right - no matter what?
  • - Is the person you fell in love with missing in action in your relationship?
  • - Do you believe that you owe it to your loved one to help them?
  • - Do you stay because you believe your loved one can't survive without you?
  • - Is your NPD partner cheating on you or has he or she cheated?
  • - Do you feel that you are not listened to and not really heard and that it is all about your NPD loved one?

I will have more information up here very soon. Parts of this site - like this part - are still under construction.




Sessions With A.J.Mahari




The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder A.J. Mahari 2006-2010

The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder

The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder A.J. Mahari 2006-2010

The Abandoned Pain of Borderline Personality Disorder

The Lost Self in BPD A.J. Mahari 2006

The Lost Self in BPD


Sessions With A.J.Mahari






BPD and Rage A.J. Mahari 2006

BPD and Rage

The Shadows and Echoes Of Self - The False Self in BPD A.J. Mahari 2007

The Shadows and Echoes Of Self - The False Self in BPD