What does that mean you might wonder? Anything dialectical - any thing experienced, felt, or any process that is of or characteristic of a dialect is the art or practice of logical discussion as employed in investigating the truth of a theory or opinion or of one's feelings for that matter.

Philosophically speaking, in Kantian epistemology, a dialect is a "fallacious metaphysical system arising from the attribution of objective reality to the perceptions by the mind of external objects" (Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009)

What is common to all people, in my experience, who seek me out as a Mental Health and Life Coach, is that at some level and to some degree there is in some area of their lives a loss of balance that results often in polarized thought based upon emotional experience. When emotions are unduly influencing experience in the here and now objective reality can be lost to the distorted perceptions of what Linehan calls "emotion mind". Linehan's "emotion mind" is the opposite of what she calls "reasonable mind". It is Linehan's term, "wise mind" that describes a balanced, dialetical, and paradoxical awareness that is the restoration of whatever was lost in thinking and feeling to previous polarization.

At the root of all emotional and psychological pain, among other things, is a need for change - change that will result in personal growth. The kind of personal growth that increases personal awareness and that means people learn how to open up their thinking, in the here and now, to the juxtaposition or interaction of conflicting ideas that naturally produce conflicting feelings.

Conflicting thoughts, ideas, emotions and feelings need to be welcomed in and embraced in mindful radically accepting ways that will, over time, create a here and now experience of burgeoning awareness that will support a greater understanding of paradox. Paradox is at the centre of healing, recovery, and/or change.

When things are out of balance in your in life it means that you need to discover more, learn, and understand more about your own ways of thinking and the choices that you have been making. It is a juncture in the journey of life, regardless of the details of one's individual situation, that can be stressful, painful, uncomfortable, challenging, and/or distressing. The reality of this speaks to your need to identify goals and to find strategy to attain your goals.

As a mental health and life coach working with people, while some of what I've written above might sound too philosophical or too complicated on first read, the ways in which I employ the facilitation of dialectical equanimity in the process of coaching my clients is tailored to each individual. The language we use is the the language of your experience and not the language of my methodology and coaching techniques.

I am here to listen to you. I am here to validate your experience. I work with clients to help them to gain more awareness of authentically who they are, what they need and want in their lives. The optimum goal that is part of each and every identified goal is to find a healthy balance in life - to find a dialectical or paradoxical understanding that can be applied to your goals and to you attaining your goals.

Equanimity refers to mental, psychological, and emotional stability. The ability to maintain one's psychological composure, especially when one is under stress and/or pressure. Attaining your yin yang, if you will, occurs when you are able to maintain your calmness and equilibrium even when your positive experience and/or feelings are in the presence of unfolding challenge that may be experienced and perceived as negative experience and painful feelings. Equanimity, in one form or another, expressed in many different ways, is a major part of the core of what all those who seek me out as a life coach are seeking in their lives in the here and now, one way or another.

© A.J. Mahari, April 21, 2009 - All rights reserved.

As a life coach I provide a caring, compassionate, safe, confidential, non judgemental, validating and supportive relationship within which clients can feel empowered to explore their present-day needs. I essentially act as a human mirror for my clients. I share with my clients an outside and unbiased perspective as to what I observe in listening to their feelings, experiences, and concerns.

Personal Coaching is not counseling, therapy or consulting.

If you would like to get more information about my life coaching sevices please email: tlc_services@rogers.com

Last up-dated March 2, 2010